In June 2019, I wrote the word “ASPIRATIONS” in my journal, all caps and underlined. The first item beneath it read “Handstand, because it’s one of those things I’ve just accepted I’ll never do.” Underneath that: “Scuba dive, because I’m afraid and it’s not something I’ve ever pictured myself doing.” Underneath that: “Finish a story, because it terrifies me.”

Nine months after I wrote down these goals, COVID happened. And sure, I could’ve kept moving forward with those aspirations while I was locked down in my apartment; it’s not like I needed to go anywhere to work on one of my dozens of half-finished short stories or start trying handstands. But I was in no place, mentally or emotionally, for experimenting with new hobbies and goals. Uncertainty was everywhere; why would I sign up for more? It was all I could do to read my books and watch my shows and bake my emotional-support banana bread, cocooning myself against the fear, anxiety, and isolation.

Nearly three years later, for better or worse, the world is opening back up, and I’m realizing that this comfort zone is starting to feel more like a rut. When confronted with a new experience — downloading a dating app, reaching out to a friend I haven’t talked to in a while — I freeze up, cower, and crawl back into bed. And sometimes, that’s fine. Sometimes, I legitimately don’t want to go to dinner or the pottery class or the date I’m not really feeling. Sometimes, it’s self-care. Other times — and I can tell the difference — it’s fear.

According to my therapist, this is my anxiety, trying to get me to stay stationary and safe forever. “It wants to keep you where you are,” she says, “because anything new is unknown and therefore terrifying.” This makes sense, and I get it, but I also want out of the spiral. I want to try handstands and scuba diving and things I never imagined myself doing. I’m ready to leave my comfort era, but how do I know if I’m ready? And if I am ready — how do I even start?

It’s Not Your Comfort Zone’s Fault

Look, it’s easy to demonize your comfort zone as the thing keeping you away from all your big, shiny, terrifying goals — god knows I’ve done it — but your comfort zone itself is not inherently bad. Everyone has a comfort zone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to hang out there for a while. “There’s a pressure in our society to constantly grow, evolve, and hustle,” says Kelly Neupert, LPC, a psychotherapist in Illinois. That pressure can make us doubt and question ourselves “when we take a minute to rest or lean into comfortability,” Neupert tells POPSUGAR.

If you’re truly, authentically happy where you are, it’s fine to stay there. Don’t feel like you have to change because society demands it. It’s perfectly OK to lean into your moments of peace and comfort, especially if you’re going through a tough time. “It’s actually important for us to have sufficient space to be in our comfort zones, especially when our lives or the world in general feel too chaotic or unpredictable,” explains licensed clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD. “So if being in your comfort zone feels good and gives you the space you need to learn and expand, you may be in just the right place.” You’re not required to be chasing big goals and pushing yourself all the time, even if it seems like that’s what everyone else is doing. (FYI: they’re probably not.)

Especially as the world opens up post-pandemic, “many people feel pressured to expand their lives in ways that may not yet be comfortable for them,” Dr. Manly tells POPSUGAR. If the idea of expanding past your comfort zone causes panic and anxiety, for example, “it may indicate it is better to stay within your comfort [zone] for the moment since you are not ready to try something new,” says Ellie Borden, RP, a psychotherapist in Ontario and clinical director and supervisor of Mind by Design Psychology. “You should not put your mental health in jeopardy.”